Living with Disability: a therapist’s view

Living with Disability: a therapist’s view

Since I published the details of my online training course – ‘Living with Disability: Get the Bigger Picture’ – I’ve had several calls and messages from other disabled therapists, all of whom have said it’s ‘about time’ a training course like this was available, and describing their own experiences of discrimination and lack of empathy from colleagues, tutors or supervisors.

Unhelpful attitudes to disability.

Having been on the receiving end of some pretty dodgy attitudes myself, I shouldn’t have been surprised – but I was, and angry too. Angry, because we therapists rightly place great store in being able to set aside our personal beliefs and opinions, and offer an empathic and non-judgemental service to our clients.

And yet, these stories that I’m hearing from my disabled colleagues, and that I can attest to from my own experience, suggest that unhelpful attitudes towards disability and disabled people still exist within the therapy professions, quite possibly out of conscious awareness; it’s not that they are expressed through malice or ill-will, but rather through unexamined assumptions about what living with disability is like.

Did you just say what I think you said?

I’ve been asked by a tutor on my diploma course whether the high heeled shoes I wore to university one day were symbolic of me ‘trying to express what remains of my sexuality’; I’ve been ordered by a tutor on a previous course to have another student accompany me to my car (parked safely on a gated college campus) because I’m ‘a fragile person’; I’ve been told by an experienced fellow counsellor that if she had come to me as a client without prior notice of my disability, she wouldn’t come back again because she would feel she had been ‘misled’; I’ve been informed by a tutor in a personal development group that I ‘must be in denial of my anger about being disabled because I don’t express it in the group’.

All of these comments say something about some of the attitudes and assumptions that are routinely made about and towards disabled people, notably that we are:

  • asexual (or conversely rampantly and dangerously sexual) beings;
  • fragile or vulnerable by default – to the point of being childlike;
  • shameful – that our impairment is a sign of some moral, spiritual or other weakness or failing;
  • angry and bitter at our situation, often to the exclusion of all other emotions.

The stereotypes and assumptions around disability are so deeply entrenched in our social mores and culture that until we experience disability ourselves, or see a close family member or friend become disabled, we can be entirely unaware that we hold them – and this includes therapists.

Disability on therapy training courses.

On top of this, disability is barely addressed on many counselling and psychotherapy courses, and where it is included, it tends to be lumped in with modules on ‘health’. Most disabled people, however, are not ill! On the diploma course I completed, disability was treated as something that happens to individuals, for whom it’s an ongoing health condition. I argued at the time, and in Living with Disability: Get the Bigger Picture, that we need to see disabled people as a minority group in the same way as we view people from a minority ethnic background or who identify as LGBT.

What that would mean is acknowledging the social and cultural aspects to living with disability, and how that affects the individual disabled person themselves. I work with disabled clients and have often heard people remark that it’s other people’s attitudes that upset them the most, not the plain facts of their physical condition. The same goes for disabled therapists who are feeling unheard, misunderstood and unsupported by their colleagues and/or managers, and the profession at large.

Understanding the experience of living with disability.

tag cloudIt’s ironic that as a visibly disabled person, I always feel ‘on show’, and yet as a disabled therapist I feel almost invisible, as do the disabled colleagues who have contacted me in the last couple of weeks.

It may be that as disabled therapists we need to find our voice and call for improvements in the training of counsellors and psychotherapists around disability and disabled people, so that we and our disabled clients feel that we’re truly seen and heard – but through a clear lens of awareness rather than through the dusty filter of unhelpful stereotypes and assumptions.

‘Living With Disability: Get the Bigger Picture’

Living with disability: Get the bigger picture‘, an online course available to book in 3 instalments or as one block.

Book now!

£67 per module, £167 for the whole course.

Study in your own time. 6 – 12 CPD hours available and a certificate on completion of course activities.



  1. Graham
    May 12, 2015

    Nice article Libby…
    You are right about unexamined attitudes! I remember experiences when I started AccEase and worked with some disabled people. I have found the therapeutic profession full of people of various abilities from sublime 🙂 to embarassing 🙁
    Cool that you have set up a course!
    Arohanui (big love)

    • Libby Webber
      May 12, 2015

      Hi Graham, great to hear from you and thanks very much for your comment. Who was it said that the ‘unexamined life is not worth living’? Socrates apparently. I think though that often we don’t realise what our thinking is on a given topic until it’s staring us straight in the face, and only then do we think to examine it. I hope that the course will enable therapists to look at their thinking around disability and offer a better service to disabled clients.

  2. Grace Grogan
    Oct 22, 2015

    I was severely injured in an accident five years ago, and although do not appear to be, I do qualify as handicapped. I have experienced the “attitude” because shortly after m injury, when I was still in a wheel chair people I had known treated me different, they were more standoffish. As I improved and appeared more “normal” they began acting normal themselves again. I think some of it is a comfort level. They didn’t know how or were unable to handle my disabled status and therefore avoided contact. Unfortunately that uninformed attitude affects those who are permanently and visibly disabled.

    • Libby Webber
      Oct 22, 2015

      Hi Grace, thanks very much for your comment. I think you’re right about the comfort – or discomfort – level that some people feel around disability and disabled people. I think a lot of it is to do with disabled people tending to be segregated away (e.g in ‘special’ education) and many people grow up without much contact with disabled people – it’s therefore unfamiliar to them.
      I think there’s also the thing about ‘there, but for the grace of God, go I…’: any one of us could become disabled ourselves in an instant and I think visibly disabled people are a visible reminder of that, and that’s scary to some people.
      A lot of this is unconscious and out of awareness, which is a problem if one is a therapist and bringing that unexamined, unaware dynamic to client work.

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